So, Michael Jackson is no longer with us. And no one really knows how to deal with it.
I wasn't going to write anything about it, but writing is my way of processing things, so, let's see where this takes us...
Before you ask, I was paying for some food in a supermarket when I heard about his passing. The news made an already bad day worse. I found out through three people, all of whom cited the 'internets' (Twitter and Facebook, very 2009) as their sources for this news. And one of these folks (he was in his early 20's) responded to MJ's death by saying: 'he was a freak though, but it's still weird'.
I tried not to react to that glib statement.
I got to a TV as soon as possible and started watching all of the news channels to verify what I hoped was a false rumour. No such luck. As I continued watching, I found myself getting more irked. Amongst the tributes to Michael Jackson and the news updates, some channels went to pains to remind us about the troubled final years of his life. But wait, didn't this man just die? Just HOURS ago? Now analysts are urging us 'not to forget' his troubled relationships with some young boys? This, while the entertainment networks quickly ran images of MJ on a gurney, after his heart stopped beating?
Other Hollywood stars who passed recently (RIP Farrah Fawcett - what a day... and David Carradine) weren't subjected to this kind of scrutiny on the actual day of their passing. Maybe a day later, maybe two days later, but hours after the event? No...
It must be the price you pay for being a Music Icon.
As we all try to figure out how to process this, I think we need to heed the words of Questlove (of the Roots). He said, (on the 'forementioned 'internets') that we should learn to 'separate the Art from the Artist.'
I agree. The Artist (man) was conflicted, that is for sure. I - we will never know the truth about his private life. But, at the same time, I cant write off what his Art has done for me.
Publicly, he was charismatic. He made history...He was the first black artist that MTV had on its rotation. Can we talk about the Moonwalk, please?! He got away with That Diamond Glove and the Loafer/Short Trouser/White Sock combo...He was a great business man (borderline ruthless - remember his purchase of half of the Beetles catalogue? Ouch...) Then there was Off The Wall - my favourite MJ album...and the blockbuster, Thriller.
At the same time, his private life was subjected to scrutiny and gossip for decades, and from the mid 90's onwards, intense controversy.
Others will debate his business, philanthropic, social and music achievements. I hope all of that isn't subjected to revisionist history, but who knows. I'm just thinking about how he affected my life. (Speaking of revisionist history -- 'Live Aid' came before 'We Are the World', sorry y'alls...)
It feels like one of my favourite uncles just died. Admittedly, I didn't really understand that uncle. He kinda spooked me sometimes, and I didn't approve of some of the things he did, and would never defend them. But his impact on me was positive. Now, I am sad when I think about what my life will be like, moving forward, knowing he won't be around.
One of my first memories was dancing to the Off The Wall album. When Thriller was released, a few years later, my dad rushed out to get it. I remember staring at that album cover -- staring at Michael and that scary looking tiger - and wanting to meet him so badly. And anyone who said they wanted to marry him? Naw, don't even think about it. I remember watching the premier of the Thriller video, and promptly wanting to learn the dance. I remember playing PYT to death... I remember rushing to the dance floor every time a Michael Jackson song came on at a family party... I remember going to my FIRST stadium concert (I still have the ticket stub... ) to see, yes... Michael Jackson during the BAD tour in 1987... I remember going to see him, years later, with my friends (when I started to think he was a little cheesy, but still), during his HIStory tour, and loving every moment of it... I remember dancing to Wanna Be Startin' Somethin' to purge my sorrow at my friends funeral just a few years ago. Yeah, on that day, that song was put on repeat, because for some reason, as soon as that song came on, we all danced like crazy, sang, clapped and purged our pain away. After at least 7 plays of that song, we all felt a little better.
So, I smiled, when, as I drove back home from lunch, Wanna Be Startin' Somethin' came on the radio. I sang along, at the top of my lungs. Then came my favourite part:
'Lift Your Head Up High
And Scream Out To The World
I Know I Am Someone And Let The Truth Unfurl
No One Can Hurt You Now
Because You Know
What's True
Yes, I Believe In Me
So You Believe In You'
I stopped in my tracks when I heard these lyrics (thankfully the traffic light was red.) I think it's 'cause I find it so ironic that Michael Jackson, an obvious overachiever, the man who sang those lyrics never got his final hurrah. He never got to start his comeback tour; a tour many people felt would have put him back on top. Whatever 'on top' is... I mean, even if the man hadn't given us 'Thriller', he still would be a genius in my opinion. It feels like his hopes (and maybe ours?) were pinned on him starting (and completing) this tour. It's like the tour somehow, would have vindicated the Artist and his Art. Rev. Al Sharpton, who knows the family, gave some indication as to why Jackson seemed so driven to stage a comeback, on CNN's AC 360 earlier today:
'He trusted a lot of big names that he went out for and stood up for, that he felt didn't stand up for him...A lot of other people hurt him, and he felt betrayed. And I thought this tour would help bring him back...because the people give him the energy and electricity. But I think a lot of people you will hear saying a lot of great things in the next couple of days - they broke Michael Jackson's heart way before it gave way today.'
Whatever one might think about Rev. Al Sharpton, his comment strikes a chord. Michael Jackson was under intense pressure for the last few years of his life - if not for most of it. That's a lot for a person to take.
But none of that really matters now. I just hope that he was able to smell the roses, so to speak, while he was with us.
I'm going to miss Michael Jackson. His death feels epoch and generation defining. There are people alive today who will know 'Michael Jackson' only as a name in music history. But, I'm grateful that I got to grow up with his music, -- and got to see him perform live, TWICE. I can say, I remember when I saw Michael Jackson do the Moonwalk.
So, I'll feel sad for myself, but I will continue to embrace Michael Jackson's Art, and be thankful for what he gave me.
It's been said the Peter Pan of Pop said he wanted to live forever though his music, He'll have no worries there.
Rest In Paradise.
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